It’s easy to split the world in two: good or bad, give or take, stay or leave. But life is more than that. Life is always more than that.
This is exactly what a friend reminded me of recently. Each week, one of us will send a question for us to consider, and back in January, she asked us to imagine what “a third door” in our lives would look like.
She was referring to the idea of introducing at least one more option when we are at a sticking point, of kicking us out of either/or thinking and opening us up to possibility.
As soon as she mentioned the third door, I was reminded of the book, The Baron in the Trees, by Italo Calvino. In it, a young boy gets into a fight with his father at dinner one night, and he climbs out the window and up into a tree. He spends decades living up in the trees, and throughout the entire novel, I remember thinking there were only two ways Calvino could end the book—either the main character came down or he died in the trees.
Calvino, a master of imagination, was not about to be stymied by my expectations, so he opened a third door and came up with an ending I could never have imagined, but that felt right and satisfying.
My friend reminded me of our conversation about third doors recently when I told her about my frustrations with Hazel Dell and the Luck Gods, my middle-grade novel. I was bemoaning the fact that I’d gotten two rejection letters from agents in the same hour, and I was sure that was a sign from the Universe to let go of the hope of getting it published.
I love Hazel Dell almost as much as I love my own children. I started her story six years ago, while I was still undergoing radiation. I’ve done at least five major revisions. I’ve hired editors and submitted it to agents. I’ve done the work.
Not only that, but while I was in Japan, the luck gods that were in my book were suddenly appearing to me in my everyday life, teasing me, egging me on to believe in magic. One day as I walked through Ueno Park, as I was literally pondering the fate of Hazel Dell, I stumbled upon a five-foot-long, still-warm snake skin. In the middle of Tokyo! The snake is the familiar of Benzaiten who appears in my book, and she is the goddess of the arts.
Another day, I was again frustrated with the novel and writing and what in the hell was I doing wasting my time on this book and maybe I’d quit writing altogether and just become a tinker and sell what’s-its and who-knows when poof!, in the very same place in Ueno park, I found a plastic magic wand on a wall. Twenty minutes later, I realized the wand was actually a pen.
Feels pretty damn clear . . . but a no and a no is a no, right?
This is when my friend asked me to think about a third door. She said, what if those no’s from the agents were really a yes somehow?
My first reaction was: Talk about magical thinking.
But her question got me to thinking—what if the responses from the agents were a resounding no to the traditional way of doing things? What if I took my cue from Dickens and posted it serially on Substack?
Or what if I recorded myself reading my book aloud?
Or maybe the work still needs work.
I don’t know.
And that’s just it—we often don’t know, which is why we want answers—now. Clear, decisive answers. Yes or no. This or that.
Third doors take more effort on our parts. We have to break free from the either/or tug of war and see what might be.
Third doors also take more time . . . and a heckuva lot more imagination. But that’s also why they can feel so delightful, so wonderful, so, well, magical.
The gods have been quiet since I’ve returned to Minnesota, so it’s been easy to forget the magic. But isn’t that one of the big ideas in Hazel Dell? That there is magic everywhere you look, especially behind third doors, and that magic can’t wait to get into our little wild lives and see what happens next.
damn! your posts come to me just when i need some magical thinking. i am in this long, protracted back-and-forth of big decision-making and what i need is a third door. who knew? you did. once again, it is a reminder i didn't know i needed.
there are so many options we forget, dismiss, ignore. enter the third door - and enter the third door! magic!
thank you. ✌🏽
Read it aloud! I always hear your voice when I read your writing. That amazing, wonderful, voice!