Give Yourself a Sticker Every Time You Fail
Maybe this has happened to you. You sit down to think about all the things you want to try and do in life, and as you do so, a wave of fear washes over you. Suddenly, you are drowning in why try? You wonder, “Why put myself out there? I am sure to fail.”
While I have always had a lot of drive and energy, the impulses to live my life to the fullest have become even more insistent since I had cancer. As Hamilton said, I know now in a way that I didn’t before that this is my shot, and I am not going to waste it.
And yet, almost every time I put myself out there, I get afraid. Of failing. Of what others will think.
That’s why I think we all need a manifesto. A list of demands for ourselves. Here’s one that I came up with recently. My hope is that when you feel afraid, these things might help you, too.
Number one: Find your courage.
The word courage means to live from the heart, and when we do that, it means we live led by love, not fear.
Do you hear? Love, not fear.
Speaking of love, number two: Love the bejesus out of yourself.
Being human is amazing and hard. The world is beautiful and at the same time, even a measly piece of paper can slice us open wide.
Love yourself. Love. Your. Self.
Number three: The only real finish line is death.
In other words, yes we might finish the dishes or a project or whatever, but until we breathe our last breath, our lives move on. New things will arise and demand our attention, our courage, our commitment.
So, quit focusing on being done. Quit focusing on the product and instead find your meaning in the process. Find the joy in what you are doing. This moment, right here, right now.
Number four: Give yourself a sticker for every failure.
Seriously.
In school, we always got stickers for doing it right. Way to go! Nice work, Champ!
But what about giving ourselves a sticker every time we try and fail? Because we put ourselves out there. We risked. We dared.
Our failures are our best indicators of living with courage, of intentionally stepping outside of what is comfortable, of playing our edges and living fierce.
Number Five: Meditate.
Or find some sort of practice that helps you to deal with everything, because we need a container for all of this. To hold our viscera—our tender parts, our parts of us that are scared and wounded.
Take that courage of yours and make the real Hero’s journey—go in and fight the dragons you’ve been carrying around for years. Your spirit will thank you for it.
Maybe these five things resonate with you, or you can write your own manifesto, one that encourages you to live with courage. To love yourself. To revel in the mess and fail. And fail again.
In this beautiful and baffling life, may you find practices that allow you to drop into your deepest self, to sit with what is, to trust yourself and hold onto your center, because then you are sure to live light and shine.
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