How to Live a Good Story

When life feels full of what if

It’s rather simple. We usually want life to go like this (whatever our this may be), and then, life steps in and hands you That. The very thing you don’t want.

That’s when our tender selves can start to struggle and flail.

That’s when anxiety drags us out of the real and into the imagined. We quit living where our feet are and instead live haunted by the hungry ghosts inside.

So how do we escape the clutches of these starving wraiths who are never satisfied, who will take and take and ask for more?

Find good people. Find the ones who are on your side. Find the people who want you to be you, who want to hear from you, who want you to shine.

Choose who you give the microphone to in your head. Do you want to hand it to Cruella—the villain from 101 Dalmatians who wants to wear a coat of puppy skins? Or Charlotte—the spider who effortlessly manages the sticky web of life all while cheering you on?

Find your thing(s). For me, I need to write just as much as I need to walk the earth and find wild altars. It might be a red rock that sings with the desert sun. Or a tree growing out of a cliff, tenaciously rooting into the hard stuff and yet reaching toward the light every single day. Find the things that speak to your soul, and lean in, whispering, Yes, this, here, now.

Trust Mystery. This one sounds awesome, but in reality, it might be the hardest of all—because Mystery often feels like Some Big Editor in the Sky, gleefully scribbling all kinds of plot twists and wrong turns into our stories—on purpose. At the same time, we get handed clue after clue about the Big Picture, but which ones matter? What should we pay attention to? And most importantly, how do we know if we are on the right track, making good choices?

Trust your Self. Seriously. Trust your self. Our bodies are designed to feel, to sense, to figure things out. So, trust your deep awareness, your wise feedback loops. How does a choice feel? Neutral? Okay, so what are you going to do with that information?

Does a choice leave behind an icky residue? Okay, so what are you going to do with that information?

Does a choice feel light, inviting you forward with a gentle, but undeniable yes, more, please?

This might be hard, but in the end, we know. We know what brings us closer to our Real self, the one that is ever ready to listen to the holy ghosts, the insistent pulls, the quiet whispers that say, Yes, This.

And even That.

And maybe most importantly:

May you live light and shine.