This is our chance to live as widely and fully as we can
Beginner’s mind is one of the main tenets of Buddhism, and it means approaching everything with an “I don’t know” mindset. Living this way is intended to create a freedom from views and expectations, and it’s been called the wisdom of uncertainty.
Anybody mind if I slip the Buddha some gravel in his rice for that one? Seriously. Freedom sounds kinda nice, but the wisdom of uncertainty? Isn’t it safer to say “the overwhelming and terrifying vexation of uncertainty?”
All of us have probably been awash in the tidal pull of not knowing. There we are, simply trying to keep ourselves from drowning in Don’t Know, and it seems pretty damn Pollyanna-ish to imagine that slapping a smile on our faces and getting curious is going to make it all okay.
As I was thinking about this, two images came to mind. The first is of quicksand. When we don’t know, it can feel as if the grounding of our lives has gone soft, unstable. And if anybody else out there was raised on Gilligan’s Island you know: the more you struggle in quicksand, the deeper you drop.
The second image is the familiar story of an elephant that is surrounded by different people who are blind. One person says that this animal is long like a snake. The other is sure it is solid, like a column holding up a building. The third says it is like a huge palm leaf that flutters gently in the breeze.
When we are surrounded by a sea of uncertainty, we can thrash and fight . . . and end up exhausting our resources, sinking deeper and deeper into the frightening depths.
When we are pushed into the wilderness of don’t know, we can focus on the perspective that this is bad, terrifying. We can get charged by a thundering herd of “If only’s.” If only I knew what to do. If only I knew what was gong to happen next.
Can I just say that either of those responses is completely natural? We are hardwired for both of them. Our brains focus on what is wrong—because that’s how we survive.
But survive is different than thrive. Thrashing rarely leads to thriving. And if we are always focused only on what’s wrong, it’s like looking at life through a pin hole. Focusing only on the fear and uncertainty blocks out the big picture.
What is the big picture? We are alive. Yes, the world is hard and hurting. Yes, our lives are uncertain. Yes, troubling events will happen and we will be asked to live with uncertainty. But we are alive. That’s one of the things I learned with my breast cancer. This. Is. It. This is our chance to live as fully and widely as we can, present with whatever arises.
The Buddha was right (of course, he was). In a life imbued with transience, beginner’s mind can sound like the easy and naive way out; it is anything but. It isn’t a saccharine denial of the travails of life. It is a conscious choice of centering in our center. There, we can stop thrashing and start sitting. Grounded in our body and breath, we can look at all the details and perspectives in the big picture. Imagine the stories we’ll get to tell when we live and see widely and deeply, anew, afresh.
Live light, y’all.